Let me count the ways – personal things

This may be no big deal for people who have experienced a whole lot of moves and know how to deal with the variances, but I’m struggling with some of the changes.

Bigotry vs. acceptance

There are parts of me that are country girl. I love critters and I love gardening. On the urban side I accept the differences in people and try very hard not to be judgmental of those who choose to follow a different path from the one that I have chosen.

At the core of this is my belief in an all loving God who would support any action that involves loving kindness. He’s not worried about color or sexual orientation – he’s worried about loving kindness.

So when confronted, whether subtly or blatantly, by bigoted, judgmental thinking, it’s really upsetting to me. When someone prefaces a conversation with telling me they are a “good Christian” and then follows it with a diatribe against blacks, or blacks with whites, or gay people I am non-plussed. What God and what Christ are they beckoning to?

One of my most favorite quotes is from Joseph Campbell. He said we all believe in the god we’re capable of. In a flash I ‘understood why my mother believed you were damned to hell if you didn’t believe in Christ where I believe that people who honor their father and mother and follow the religion of their upbringing are loved by God. It doesn’t matter if it happens to be Buddhist, Jewish, Catholic, Islam, whatever. If you honor your mom and dad and the beliefs they taught you, then God will love you for your faithfulness. My mother felt if you didn’t follow her beliefs you were going to hell. Her god wasn’t a very nice god.

I guess larger metropolitan areas are more tolerant of all the differences. At least I hope so. Now, I have moved to a more rural area and am  confronted with narrow-minded hatefulness and I’m not sure I can survive in an area if those are the pervasive beliefs.

And now we launch into my previously unrealized bigotry

Background

I need to preface some of the following comments with some facts from my background. My dad, who grew up in the segregated south, yet showed few if any signs of prejudice against much of anyone. There was one glaring exception to this — he absolutely loathed white trash and would bristle up with distaste when confronted with an example of it. I can remember him gritting his teeth and saying “Anyone can afford a bar of soap.”

So I confess I grew up with a prejudice against white trash. I didn’t realize what a major prejudice it was until I moved here…

Walmart

I am a bargain hunter and like to stock up on staple items at Walmart — the things like canned goods that are the same no matter when you purchase them.  I have realized I hate to Walmart here. I am going to try to not sound totally bigoted — I feel surrounded by the classic picture of poor white trash. Again 99% of the people. I see a nicely dressed person and am stunned.

 Camoflage any time all the time

Oh my god. I have never seen so much camo in my entire life. And trust me it’s more than I ever would have wished to see in my entire life. Pants, shirts, jackets. Men wear it, women wear it, kids wear it. It’s everywhere. What I thought was a functional item for hunting has become a fashion statement of choice. Lord save me from the camo.

Courtesy

In Texas if it was cold or raining and you were walking into a store drivers would defer to you — the person out in the elements. Not here. It’s pouring rain and cold and if you try to dash into a store you better make damn sure there are no cars coming because they will mow you down if you get in their way. What??? I hate it and it’s everywhere.

Recycling

I’m sorry, but how long has the vast majority of the U.S. been recycling? Or am I wrong about this. It’s been easily over 20 years that I have been religiously separating recyclable items from the landfill kind of trash.

Not here. You just dump everything. You have got to be kidding. I am dumbfounded by this reality and I don’t like it one little bit. It’s the planet we’re trying to save — is this are not part of the planet?

The use of the English language

I have to confess that Josh and I moved from the Mesquite, TX area when we were confronted with so much bigotry and poor speaking that we couldn’t get out of the fast enough.

I am amazed at how poorly people speak here. It leaves me not quite sure what is taught in the schools. I am not okay with a total butchering of the language. I understand accents. I don’t understand horrible grammar and speaking after graduating high school. I stand and listen to people speaking in stores and I am amazed.

Is it handed down from generation to generation and no one feels the need to do differently? Makes me thank the lord I was born to articulate parents who expected us to express ourselves with good vocabulary and proper grammar. Thank you for your standards, mom and dad.

Music – or lack thereof

I have searched and searched for a decent radio station. I downgraded and searched for an acceptable radio station. Forget it.

I admit I was spoiled. I think 102.1 The Edge in Dallas is one of the finest stations around. The best I have been able to find here is classic rock, which I basically, detest but there simply isn’t anything else unless I want to tune in to the myriad of religious stations. The red neck banter on all stations is insulting and narrow minded.  Groan.

Lord, does that mean I have to arm my cheap used SUV with a satellite radio just to survive. How silly is that? I wish it was set up to play MP3s.

Animal lovers?

My dogs are important to me. Pets here are farm animals. I can’t believe how many people have been stunned by my dogs and asked what kind they are. Yellow Labs are the most commonly owned dog in the United States. Evidently not in this area. I am the only person that hauls their pets around with them. Geez, I long for a pet friendly environment.

Fitness

Exercise – not a high priority here. Walking trails, biking trails are not common. I have only found them at one park. I just don’t think exercise is important – but that could be the result of people having to work hard to make a living. A couple tiny health clubs is another reflection of the local values.

When the weather improves I will check out the Cumberland Trail, but that’s hiking I will have to do without the dogs.

Work ethic

That leads to another issue – laziness. You walk into businesses and oft times there are employees standing around socializing but there won’t be anyone who seems to be there to help customers. If there is someone, they certainly aren’t in any hurry to do anything. Forget quick trips to the store to grab something you need – it’s not going to happen. Allow a lot of time.

And then it hit me. I absolutely detested the lazy mentality in Toledo and loved the ambition and energy when I hit the Dallas area. I suspect that issue has reared its ugly head again. Not too sure I can live with a reversal in that standard. It drives me crazy.

Drug issues

I have found out that Tennessee is one of the top states for meth problems. The county that I’m living in is even higher up that list. Not a great distinction.

Makes me worry about being broken into. Or the car being vandalized when I’m out and about. Or the dogs being stolen when I run into a store and leave them in the truck.

 Final thoughts

Maybe I’m just a city girl and too accustomed to educated people, a higher work ethic, more availability of goods. But you pay a lot more to be in urban areas. Metropolitan areas with higher levels of education engender the plastic value of appearance over true substance and that doesn’t work for me either. Just things I need to consider.

So I’m biding my time and hoping my opinion of my decision improves. If not – what the heck. I’ll find someplace else to go.

So just where would I feel like I belong??  Maybe a college town. I would expect a decent use of language and a higher level of acceptance. Not sure how the courtesy issue would fall in that type of community.

Who knows where I’d belong? Not sure I belong anywhere. Maybe I’m meant to be a nomad. If that’s the case I need to get ride of a whole lot of stuff first. I know I am happy when I’m exploring.

One good decision

For a while I have looked at my dogs like they are monumental boat anchors that keep me from travelling — the thing I really want to do. Since I have moved here I have come to see them as the creatures in this world that truly love me and are loyal to me. And they are aging. Nikki is 10 and Ellie is 8. They aren’t going to be here forever.

So instead of letting them keep me from travelling I have decided it’s time to load up and take them to dog fun places and have a blast together before I lose both of them.

The injury Nikki sustained this past week confirmed my feeling about this. As soon as the weather warms we are heading to the Outer Banks in North Carolina to their dog friendly beaches and lighthouses.

I realize it’s running away from a situation I don’t like, but maybe it’s running to something wonderful. We’ll see.